Change is a tricky thing. If you have a popular game series, people will complain odd like: if you change the formula too much, your fans will be pissed off.
If you do not change the formula enough people will be disappointed. There you have the eternal problem: people are generally dissatisfied, anyway.
«God of War: Ascension» follows the safe “more of the same old” philosophy, without offering anything new. Here, the bloodthirsty Spartan sense of humor, Kratos, is ready for the sixth time. The Kratos diary was found recently during an archaeological excavation in Greece.
Pretty enough stuck up in the rectum of an exceptionally well-kept Gorgon. Before we proceed, here are some excerpts from this revolutionary discovery:
DRAWINGS FROM KRATOS ‘DAYBOOK DAY 1:
Dear Diary. The sensory is not working. Sorry. I’m really trying to get rid of my racial problems, but it’s not easy when you’re constantly being attacked by troublesome mythological beings from all sides.
They make Kratos so … damned … pissed off. Argh! Drepedøknuseslaktehat !!! Ok, breathe in calmly. Quiet out again. Phu. Ah better.
I visualize a flower bed. Hearing the wind is playing with the leaves, the sun feels warm the body while I’m in the drowsy grass. I’m in one with nature, and feel the calm surround me like a biting breeze. Everything is harmony and well-being, everything is … sticky sickle and bad breath?
Great, now I’m surrounded by a dozen deformed minotaurs with a sword. Absolutely brilliant. Something like that happens every bit when I try to meditate a bit. Muck. I hate them like that! Hate!! Kill! Aarrghh !!
After battling Mount Olympus and kverk the King of God of Zeus in “God of War III”, there is not much else to do than to go back to start. “Ascension” is a precursor that spells 10 years before the events of the first “God of War”.
Everything starts around half a year after Kratos slaughtered his wife and child, in a rapid raptus attack that has characterized the entire series. Our spartan friend is now tied up in Aegaeon, where he can lean on a couple of ages with torture under the direction of the three furies.
The first of these choking furies, Megaera, does a rather lucrative job – so it does not take long before Kratos is back in freedom, and just as sore as usual.
DRAWINGS FROM KRATOS ‘DAYBOOK DAY 2:
Hooray, now I’m caught inside the giant Aegaeon, a heavy razor with lots of hands and bad intimate hygiene. Does not smell good here, I can promise you. I do not quite remember how I ended up here, but I guess it had something to do with Ares War. For a shit, he’ll have his later! The Greek gods suck. Is it wondering I am atheist?
It will not be very difficult to break away from here, but something tells me I’ll have to overcome three furies, a lot of kisses, several thousand crawfish, fire extinguishing dragons and at least one sea monster before I get a bit of relaxation. Stress always makes me irritable. That and low blood sugar.
One of the steps in the syndrome is to put words on emotions, thus learning to control them – so I will update this diary regularly when I have a few minutes left.
As a rule, Kratos must fight a number of animals of different sizes to progress through the spectacular areas. Perspective changes and the “Shadow of the Colossus” -inspired bosses are back, as a continuation of the titans we met in “God of War III”.
The environments feel more varied this time and, as usual, are exquisitely designed. But you still run in rigid trails that rarely give you the chance to explore the surroundings. You can find some half hidden coffins that offer orbs in yummy colors, but you do not need to look particularly thorough to find them.
In terms of graphics, this is fully in line with the predecessor, and superior to the most in his style. However, in terms of playability, it has been disappointing little since last.
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